love and miss you always

life is full of ups and downs..now u r feeling as if u r on the top of the world, the next moment u might feel the other way round...i jz hav no idea how to express my feelings out...i've been having mood swing recently and he has been tolerating with me all this while...never to deny that sometimes i make him so so so angry...haha...that's me...all this while i've been telling myself to change..well..i do change mayb for 1 day or 2 days...haha...the day after come back to the same old me...sometimes when i have something to blog but got no chance to go online...ya..it's very inconvenient here where i hv to go down the cafe so that can online....i notice that i always say how nice if i can go back to the past where for sure i wouldn't make the same mistake that will make me, perhaps regret?

i do really really really miss u alot, perhaps you r more happy there with no more suffering...everytime when i thought of those things that happen in my life which i wanna share it with you...but now i just cannot make it...there's no more chance for me to do it anymore....my heart cries everytime when i thought of it...very very sorry for everything that i've done....i love u from the bottom of my heart...you will always be in my heart...although time may past and life continues, i will remember the love and care and passion and the comfort that you have given me throughout 22 years...i will not forget ur advice and your hope on me...i love u and i really miss very much....

heartache

i tot after a couple of days all the comments would be quiet down...i tot of escaping from complaining here by distracting my mind from tis awful thoughts...when i c the mirror i hated so much the 'brand new hairstyle' which i would labelled it..i might be exaggerating too much here...i just dono how 2 express my feelings...i know i cnt put the blame on anyone...it was me who shut up my mouth when the hairstylist ask bout my opinion....i've been struggling so hard to ignore all those comments n the weird stares from stangers...but, i just cnt help it...i know ppl are giving me comments without any bad intention but it was my own problem, i hv to fight against myself b4 the next step...it killed my confidence, perhaps i'm extra 2 conservative 2 accept any extreme changes...yeah, i'm a coward which i wouldn't deny it...jz couldn't help it

lost

jz finish class not long ago...don feel like going back 2 room n without realising, i bring myself to the lab...read bout phoebe's blog, guess i know wat's really goin on...ya, we don realise how much tat person mean to us till we loose them...tat's reality of life, i called them..in fact, we often remind ourselves to appreciate n treasure the person when you hv the chance, n yet we tend to do the other way round....i knew i hurt 'the person' alot, i've tried many times to control my unreasonale n unbearable outburst, but the outcome is still the same...do i really hav the heart to change or izzit i'm giving myself an excuse? i know very well tat i will be punished someday for what i had done...as a saying goes. tip for tap. i truly believe it as i had experienced it myself...dono wat shud i do......

i've changed

i can feel tat i've changed in certain aspect, but till now i still can't find out the truth behind this...n i feel the way i've been treating 'tat some1' has changed tremendously...wat's happening? all of a sudden it happened just like tat....i know 'tat some1' must b deeply hurt, just 'tat some1' didn't express it out or mayb giving me some hints tat 'tat some1' can sense something wrong too...i jz wanna say tat i really hope things will so back soon as normal...sincerely...i really don hope things will keep on goin like tis..

trust me.....

don wanna leave

i've been emotinally disturbed lately due to certain thing n during my hols 4 1 month plus, it's like i've been on medication all the time...hw long should i suffer like tat? i received some news tat the person i knew has passed away recently n it's really freaking me out...i scared it will b my turn soon...wat should i do? hopefully everything is fine...many types of medic i had taken n singse n oso doctor i had see...hw come there has not been any positive sign? pls tell me wat 2 do... i'm really scared the worst might come true...i really don1 2 leave tis world so soon...there's so many things i haven't do...

plssssssss help.................

the truth revealed at last

the things tat r least expected will come 2 u unexpectedly, it's just a matter of time u c...i got to know smth which remain as a secret for him for the past 18 months i guess...i was totally heartbroken when i was informed bout it although it has got nth 2 do wit me nw...but y am i being treated like tis? izzit i deserved it? i'm tryin my very best 2 put everything a stop n start my new life...indeed i'm doin it rite nw

fAvOurIte tIm3

just took my dinner n ended up in front of the pc...sent aunty dolly n uncle bob bck tis morning...it happened like they just come over fw days ago, never 2 realise tat it was actually 3 weeks d...time really flies, which i was hoping for when i'm trapped in tat awful place, n it actually come true where i am in a place of heaven now, my lovely home...

since the day i'm back from campus, din really hv a gd rest...i'm totally enjoying my hols till the fullest...went 2 maxwell hill n taiping lake the 1st day of hols, 2nd day in the pg island, the next day where my adorable yen yen n tis talkative jaden come over 2 my hse 2 pay a visit for my grandma n plus spending their wesak hol at pg...really hav a great time...

really 10s 4 everything...u know who u r...eventhough it was just a fw hours outing, i'm really enjoying every single moment...really appreciate it...i'm really touched from the way u treating my family...as like they r part of urs 2...dono hw 2 express my feelings...recall the moment when we were riding tat tiny boat, really very funny...every1 seems 2 b enjoying their time, while both of us ride so fast as like we were in a competition...sweat all the way...tat guy must b thinking wat's up wit us...haha...

sorry 4 all those hurtful words n my doubt towards u...i hope my perception is correct tis time...prove 2 me 2 keep me silent...cheers